Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Super Parent Syndrome???

I am overwhelmed at the choices I have in life, of the decisions I have to make. Us as parents in this day and age have been held responsible for the emotional well being of our children, and even though it is true that we can make or break our children, I feel this is a huge responsibility and it's scary. When our parents where small I think the only thing the parents of that time worried was that the children where well fed, dressed, warm enough, healthy enough... I don't know, I don't think education was such a big deal either. Maybe it was, but not as today. I find myself worrying if I have my children in the right school, am I in the right neighborhood, in the right state? Should I move? Should I stay? Can I scar my children for life if I move? Will I find a suitable school? Will I mess up the opportunities my child could potentially have? Should I push my children, should I allow them to relax? Should I work, should I stay home with them? Is my work harming them? How can I spend more time with them when I'm constantly exhausted. How can I be myself and find myself when I have to make sure that I spent enough time with them and tend to all their needs.
It's as if the world doesn't have enough hours. When do I find time to sleep? I don't sleep enough, I'm tired all the time, I don't get enough stuff done...
Yesterday my 3 year old daughter got upset at me because I wouldn't let her do something she wanted and she said to me: "I don't want to be your daughter anymore!" I was horrified! My 8 y/o daughter said: "Then who is going to be your mommy?" And the 3 y/o replied: "Grandma!!!" I was sooooo mortified and hurt. But I just replied: "That's just very sad!" and made a sad face. All of a sudden she says: "I changed my mind. I want you to be my mommy!" I was relieved but those words hurt very bad. And I forced myself not to bring it up again, even though I wanted to. I took those words from a book I'm reading (Try and Make me!) and it tells you not to take comments like that seriously and to never go on and on about what the kid said. It's been hard. But I guess what we all want is to be good parents, we want our kids to be able to grow up into happy, healthy, productive adults, but it seems society has put so much pressure and so many expectations on parents that now it seems people will have to get a Graduate's degree on Child Development before you even think about having kids. Is this reasonable? Is there going to ever be a time when we will all be able to relax a little bit more about child rearing? I wish there was a book about that...
Do you feel the same way as I do??

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