The topic of my blog is True Identity, but what does it really mean? I have embarked in this journey for many years, and I feel as if I'm only getting started. Along my journey I have met many people struggling with this problem as well, people who feel lonely, they lack a sense of belonging, people who find no meaning to life, no purpose, no faith. Mothers who feel confused as to where it is that they end and their children begin. Wives that confuse their likes with the likes of their husbands. Husbands that put so much effort in trying to make their wives happy while the wives are trying to make their husbands happy and this gets them nowhere. People spend so much time and effort trying to make other people happy. They measure their happiness through the happiness of others, and this never leads to true happiness. We are not responsible for the happiness of anybody else but ours. But what makes us happy? Can it be possible to be truly happy? It seems that happiness is indirectly linked to social acceptance, spirituality, romance, family, career, fame/power. But can it exist without any of them?
If I could only have x amount of money I would be happy. When I get a boyfriend/husband, I'll be happy. If I get the job I have always wanted, I will be happy. If I move to this or that place, I will be happy. But then you get that thing you wanted and something else happens that makes you realize that you need something else to be happy. So then what?
I truly believe that happiness comes from being true to yourself, having found your purpose in life and work at achieving that purpose in every aspect of your life. But I also believe that in order for a person to believe that they have a purpose they have to have some kind of faith in some kind of higher power, because people who don't believe in a higher power don't really feel that there's a purpose for us in this lifetime. We just come to this world to make the best of it and that's it. They might find amusing a lot of things in this world yet not truly be content, happy, realized.
But I find that there are so many factors interfering with each and every persons journey to self acceptance and realization that it makes it hard for anyone to find their true selves. Some of these factors that interfere with the process are: sensitivity, marriage, children, parents, jobs, faith, money, to name only a few.
Sensitivity: Highly sensitive and perceptive people tend to have the ability to absorb the emotions of those that are in their surroundings. So it is difficult for a Highly Sensitive person to be able to differentiate between their needs and those of others.
Marriage: or any romantic partner relationship can make the people involved in it have a difficulty separating the wants of each other as it is socially acceptable and expected for a person in a relationship to try to please the other without necessarily regarding their own needs.
Children: especially with mothers. It is expected of a mother to put the needs of their children first above all else. Yet it is necessary to maintain a sense of self and respect towards the needs of the parent while raising children because happy parents raise happy children. However this is not always the case with most people.
Parents: There are some parents out there who tend to be either too overprotective or not protective enough. Both of those opposite sides of parenting can affect the self worth or self esteem of a child, and thus not allowing them to find their true identities for a long time.
Jobs: Some people tend to be job oriented, workaholics, or simply tend to link their job or career success with their own self worth. If anything goes wrong at work the person's self esteem is automatically affected.
Faith: People who believe in a form of Higher Power tend to be more aware of their value as a very important part of life. Although there are also those who are influenced by religion in such a way that it can also impact the person's view of self worth. They link their self worth to their performance as a member of their particular religion, and there are many religions that impose so many rules and sometimes unreasonable expectations on people that it can also negatively impact the self worth of a person.
Money/Power/Fame: The pursuit of money, power or fame can impact the self worth of a person in a very negative way. I am not saying that everyone with money, power and fame are lacking self worth or are not following their true identities; I'm saying that those who seek it with force, with the acquirement of it being the ultimate goal, tend to be less happy than those who gain money, power and fame through doing good deeds and being true to themselves.
So what do you do if you are a Highly Sensitive person, married with children, with overprotective parents, in a dead end job, with faith, but surrounded by people who lack it, and with no money, power or fame? Is it more difficult? I think it is. Is it impossible? Never.
We must try to look deep down inside us what makes us happy, what we are good at, what makes us who we are. Be aware of the things that makes us detour from our goal and know how to deal with them. And never give up.